Goodness and Christian Courtesy - Cardinal Bacci

Goodness and Christian Courtesy

1. Christian perfection, when it is genuine and practical, should be reflected externally in our appearance, in our conversation, and in our behaviour. Discourtesy, sharpness of manner, offensive speech, and all that is rude or displeasing, are signs that we are lacking or weak in virtue.

On the other hand, if we have succeeded in conquering all our evil inclinations and in regulating our interior faculties, so that they are subject to right reason and to the divine law, then our virtue will be reflected in our speech and in our actions. It was this spiritual charm that made the Saints fascinating to those who knew them or came in contact with them, making them wish to reform their own lives and to strive towards perfection. St. Francis de Sales said that courtesy is the frame of sanctity; as a picture without a frame is incomplete, so also is virtue if it is not expressed externally by affability and gentleness. In the Gospel, Jesus is not satisfied with interior virtue alone but insists that it should appear outwardly in our actions. “Even let your light shine before men,” He says, “in order that they may see your good works and give glory to your Father in heaven.” (Mt. 5:16)

2. St. Francis de Sales was a model of gentleness and Christian courtesy. He had every regard and respect of his neighbour because he saw God in everyone and everyone in God.

He had the ability to listen to everybody with great patience and kindness, without ever showing any sign of tiredness or boredom, even when he was dealing with unpleasant people or when he was busy with far more important matters. He maintained his equilibrium and self-control even after many hours of work and of difficult consultations. He was always prepared , moreover, to listen to the troubles of the poor.

Even when insulted and reviled, he displayed perfect serenity and calm. It was a result of this that, with the help of God, he made innumerable converts.

“Always be as gentle as you can,” he was accustomed to advise, “and remember that you will catch more flies with a spoon of honey than with a barrel of vinegar. If you must err, let it be on the side of gentleness…” “Be humble,” he wrote again, “and you will be gentle. Humility makes the heart kind towards the perfect and the imperfect; towards the former through veneration, towards the latter through compassion.” (Letter 51) How much we have to learn from the serenity and courtesy of this Saint!

3. When Jesus wished to propose Himself as our divine model, He said: “Learn from me, for I am meek and humble of heart.” (Mt. 11:29) He was kind to all, but especially to sinners. He was strict and severe only with hypocrites, whom He described as a race of vipers and as whitened sepulchres, from which we can see how much He detested duplicity. If the hypocrites had only repented and resolved to mend their ways, however, Our Lord would have received them lovingly and pardoned them. Let us learn, therefore, to be simple, meek, and humble of heart and to display that courtesy of manner which is the necessary adornment of true Christian virtue.

Patience - Cardinal Bacci

Patience

1. Patience may be external or internal. Both are necessary aspects of the same virtue. External patience consists in refraining from outbursts of anger and from sarcastic comments – in short, from all words and actions which might give offence to others. It is easy to be patient when our affairs are running smoothly and everybody is being nice to us. It is quite another matter when we come up against difficulties or find that we are being slighted or insulted. It is hard to remain silent when our pride has been wounded, and it requires the virtue of a saint to be able to smile at our tormentors. It took St. Francis de Sales years of spiritual conflict before he achieved this kind of perfection.

How far can we claim to have succeeded in acquiring this virtue? We should always remember that temperamental explosions are unworthy of a rational being. The only proper course when we have been offended is to state our case clearly and calmly, though generally speaking it is more heroic to remain silent. Impatience is futile because it cannot remedy the situation, and often harmful because it upsets us and only produces bitterness. Acts of impatience, moreover, are a source of bad example to others. “The quick-tempered man,” says Sacred Scripture, “makes a fool of himself.” (Prov. 14:17) “The patient man,” it adds, “shows much good sense, but the quick-tempered man displays folly at its height.” (Id. 14:19)

If we live in the presence of God, we shall learn to be calm and self-controlled in all circumstances.

2. An outward show of patience will hardly avail us much in God’s eyes unless it is accompanied by interior patience, which consists in the possession of complete mastery over all our faculties. We should be able to control our feelings as well as our actions. This is a difficult virtue, but it is the duty of every sincere Christian to try and acquire it. Only the grace of God and constant effort will enable us to succeed, but when we have at last mastered our unruly and selfish impulses we shall have arrived at a state of peace and perfection. “By your patience you will win your souls.” (Luke 21:19)

3. If we are patient from the motive of the love of God, we can gain merit in His sight. There are three grades of perfection in this virtue. (1) The first is the acceptance, with Christian resignation, of every kind of misfortune, offering it in expiation of our sins. (2) The second consists in a cheerful and willing acceptance of these misfortunes because they come from God. (3) The third stage is reached when we actually desire them out of our love for Jesus Christ.

Which grade have we attained? If we wish to please God, it is essential that we should have made the first grade at least. “A patient man is better than a warrior, and he who rules his temper, than he who takes a city.” (Prov. 16:32)

Mary’s Patience - Cardinal Bacci

Mary’s Patience

1. Many people who honour the Cross of Jesus Christ have no liking for their own cross. Many of those who pray fervently to Jesus crucified experience a sense of repugnance and rebellion when they are called upon to suffer with Him and to carry their own cross. But Jesus has said: “If anyone wishes to come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross daily, and follow me.” (Luke 9:23) If a man does not love his own cross, he does not love the Cross of Jesus Christ. If we are to be true Christians, we must suffer with resignation and love. Mary gives us a wonderful example of this kind of loving patience. She is the Mother of Sorrows, because when Jesus was in agony for love of us on Mount Calvary, she knelt at His feet. From the depths of her stricken mother's heart she offered up her divine Son and united her own sufferings to the infinite merits of His passion and death. In this way she became the co-redemptrix of the human race. But she had already suffered in patience throughout the earlier part of her life. Let us recall to mind the coldness of her reception in Bethlehem, the birth of her infant Son in a damp cave, the persecution by Herod and the flight into Egypt, the daily privations in the home of Nazareth, the anxious devotion with which she followed our divine Redeemer on his long missionary journeys, and the day when He was finally betrayed and arrested. She knew that her divine Son had it in His power to spare both Himself and her all this suffering and humiliation. Even when they lived in Nazareth, she knew that He had power to multiply loaves of bread, change water into wine, or annihilate His enemies. But she never asked Him to do any of these things. All she ever asked for was a life of intimacy with Jesus. She was happy to co-operate patiently with Him in the work of redeeming the human race. By humbly following Him as far as Calvary she merited to follow Him triumphantly into Heaven on the day of her Assumption.

2. We also have our share of suffering and humiliation. It is useless to try and escape from it, useless to rebel against it. If we embrace the cross patiently and lovingly, as Jesus and Mary did, it will seem lighter, even welcome. If we attempt to cast it from us, it will weigh more heavily on our shoulders. There are two kinds of men, those who bear their cross patiently and embrace it because they wish to be like Jesus, and those who do not want to suffer, and rebel. The former may stagger beneath their daily burden, but they have peace of soul because they are putting into practice the great Gospel precept: “By your patience you will win your souls.” (Luke 21:19) They know that they are on the path to Heaven and this thought is a consolation which cannot be taken from them. The second group of men rebel against the cross and therefore suffer doubly, in body and in soul. “The senseless man,” the Holy Spirit says, “loves not to be reproved.” (Prov. 15:12)

To which of these two categories do we belong? Do we love our cross, or do we carry it patiently at least? Anyone who does not want the cross does not want Jesus. Let the example of Mary and of the Saints inspire us. They always bore their burden patiently, they even looked for suffering and humiliation. If we cannot reach such heroic heights, let us at least accept from the hands of Our Lord the cross which He offers us. Let us accept the sufferings which we meet on the way of life. If we are not heroic enough to seek to be unknown and mortified, let us resolve to accept patiently the inevitable sorrows of life.

3. Holy Mary, Mother of Sorrows, obtain for me the spirit of loving patience which made you the Queen of Martyrs. Help me to carry with resignation the cross which God has given me. Help me to walk like you in the footsteps of Jesus until I reach my Calvary, so that I may join Him and you in the glory of Heaven. Amen.

Nerves and austerity - Fr Considine SJ

"In the days of great austerity nerves did not exist. They are a product of our time. Nerves are the austerities we have to bear today. Bear with yourself, your depression, gloom, moods, variability of temper. To bear with one's self is an act of great virtue."
(Words of Encouragement)

Bearing with the Faults of Others - Thomas a Kempis

Imitation of Christ, chapter 16

UNTIL God ordains otherwise, a man ought to bear patiently whatever he cannot correct in himself and in others. Consider it better thus—perhaps to try your patience and to test you, for without such patience and trial your merits are of little account. Nevertheless, under such difficulties you should pray that God will consent to help you bear them calmly.

If, after being admonished once or twice, a person does not amend, do not argue with him but commit the whole matter to God that His will and honor may be furthered in all His servants, for God knows well how to turn evil to good. Try to bear patiently with the defects and infirmities of others, whatever they may be, because you also have many a fault which others must endure.

If you cannot make yourself what you would wish to be, how can you bend others to your will? We want them to be perfect, yet we do not correct our own faults. We wish them to be severely corrected, yet we will not correct ourselves. Their great liberty displeases us, yet we would not be denied what we ask. We would have them bound by laws, yet we will allow ourselves to be restrained in nothing. Hence, it is clear how seldom we think of others as we do of ourselves.

If all were perfect, what should we have to suffer from others for God’s sake? But God has so ordained, that we may learn to bear with one another’s burdens, for there is no man without fault, no man without burden, no man sufficient to himself nor wise enough. Hence we must support one another, console one another, mutually help, counsel, and advise, for the measure of every man’s virtue is best revealed in time of adversity—adversity that does not weaken a man but rather shows what he is.