Virtue: a means, not an end - Fr Faber

"Virtue itself is a means, not an end; for virtue is not God, nor union with God. Do not think this admonition strange. It is one that was constantly in the mouth of St. Francis of Sales. We are so bad that we can make even our pursuit of virtue a hindrance to our love of God."

Growth in Holiness

Needless contradiction - St Francis de Sales

"It was a saying of S. Louis, that one should contradict nobody, unless there was sin or harm in consenting; and that in order to avoid contention and dispute. At any rate, when it is necessary to contradict anybody, or to assert one’s own opinion, it should be done gently and considerately, without irritation or vehemence. Indeed, we gain nothing by sharpness or petulance."

The Christian Formation of Character - Cardinal Bacci

The Christian Formation of Character

1.Our temperament is often a burden to ourselves and can at times be the source of annoyance to others. If we do nothing about it, it can be the cause of failings or of extremes of behaviour on our part which we bitterly regret afterwards. It is necessary, therefore, to form character in accordance with Christian principles. We are in no danger of losing our individuality by training our character in this way. God's grace does not change nature, but elevates and improves it. It is like a shoot which we plant in the uncultivated soil of our own being. The first fruits may be sour, but after a while they grow sweeter, while still preserving the essential taste and aroma of the mother-plant. St. Jerome was a headstrong and austere character, and he continued to be so even after the grace of God had transformed him and made him holy. But his rugged nature was at the same time softened and strengthened by divine grace. St. Augustine had a great intellect and a great heart. When he abandoned philosophical sophistry and worldly vanity in order to dedicate these gifts to the service of God, he achieved a profundity of thought never before attained by Christian wisdom. We should behave in the same manner. If we are hot-tempered, we should convert this tendency to anger into hatred for sin. If we are enthusiastic by nature, we should turn our enthusiasm into love for God and for our neighbour. If we are high-spirited and energetic, we should devote ourselves to good works for our own salvation and to the apostolate for souls. How far have we advanced in the Christian transformation of our character? Let us examine our progress and resolve to do better.

2. St. Francis de Sales writes as follows with his usual simplicity: "A way has been found of making bitter almonds sweet, by puncturing them at the bottom and squeezing out the juice. Why cannot we eject our evil inclinations in order to make ourselves better? There is nobody so good by nature that a bad habit could not altogether corrupt him. Similarly, there is nobody so bad by nature that he could not be trained in goodness by the grace of God and his own perseverance." St. Francis de Sales did not teach this in theory only, but he put his advice into practice to a heroic degree in his own life. He was endowed by nature with a vigorous and resentful disposition, and he became an angel of gentleness and affability. From his youth he was aware of the defects in his character. He himself admitted that he struggled against them for twenty-two years with God's help. He reached the point where he was able to remain silent when he was insulted and to refrain from defending himself when he was slandered, for he had acquired an inward peace and a remarkable calmness of manner. This gentleness of character enabled him to convert over seventy thousand heretics, to win back hardened sinners to Jesus Christ, and to set countless souls on fire with the love of God. We have a great deal to learn from him.

3. When Jesus offered Himself as our Divine Model, He used these words: “Learn from me, for I am meek and humble of heart.” (Mt. 11:29) Humility and gentleness are essential attributes of the Christian character. Whoever does not succeed in acquiring them is building upon sand. He will be a torment to others as well as to himself. Jesus indicates this also, for after He has said: “Learn from me, for I am meek and humble of heart,” He adds: “and you will find rest for your souls.” (Ibid.) In other words, He tells us that it is only on this condition that we shall find spiritual peace. When we have modelled our character on His humility and gentleness, we shall be inflamed with the love of God and of our neighbour. Only then shall we have succeeded in acquiring a character which is genuinely and deeply Christian.

Diligence vs Anxiety - St Francis de Sales

Introduction to the Devout Life, chapter X

We must attend to the Business of Life carefully, but without Eagerness or Over-anxiety.

THE care and diligence due to our ordinary business are very different from solicitude, anxiety and restlessness. The Angels care for our salvation and seek it diligently, but they are wholly free from anxiety and solicitude, for, whereas care and diligence naturally appertain to their love, anxiety would be wholly inconsistent with their happiness; for although care and diligence can go hand in hand with calmness and peace, those angelic properties could not unite with solicitude or anxiety, much less with over-eagerness. 

Therefore, my daughter, be careful and diligent in all your affairs; God, Who commits them to you, wills you to give them your best attention; but strive not to be anxious and solicitous, that is to say, do not set about your work with restlessness and excitement, and do not give way to bustle and eagerness in what you do;—every form of excitement affects both judgment and reason, and hinders a right performance of the very thing which excites us. 

Our Lord, rebuking Martha, said, “Thou art careful and troubled about many things.” If she had been simply careful, she would not have been troubled, but giving way to disquiet and anxiety, she grew eager and troubled, and for that our Lord reproved her. The rivers which flow gently through our plains bear barges of rich merchandise, and the gracious rains which fall softly on the land fertilise it to bear the fruits of the earth;—but when the rivers swell into torrents, they hinder commerce and devastate the country, and violent storms and tempests do the like. No work done with impetuosity and excitement was ever well done, and the old proverb, “Make haste slowly,” is a good one, Solomon says, “There is one that laboureth and taketh pains, and maketh haste, and is so much the more behind;” we are always soon enough when we do well. The bumble bee makes far more noise and is more bustling than the honey bee, but it makes nought save wax—no honey; just so those who are restless and eager, or full of noisy solicitude, never do much or well. Flies harass us less by what they do than by reason of their multitude, and so great matters give us less disturbance than a multitude of small affairs. Accept the duties which come upon you quietly, and try to fulfil them methodically, one after another. If you attempt to do everything at once, or with confusion, you will only cumber yourself with your own exertions, and by dint of perplexing your mind you will probably be overwhelmed and accomplish nothing. 

In all your affairs lean solely on God’s Providence, by means of which alone your plans can succeed. Meanwhile, on your part work on in quiet co-operation with Him, and then rest satisfied that if you have trusted entirely to Him you will always obtain such a measure of success as is most profitable for you, whether it seems so or not to your own individual judgment. 

Imitate a little child, whom one sees holding tight with one hand to its father, while with the other it gathers strawberries or blackberries from the wayside hedge. Even so, while you gather and use this world’s goods with one hand, always let the other be fast in your Heavenly Father’s Hand, and look round from time to time to make sure that He is satisfied with what you are doing, at home or abroad. Beware of letting go, under the idea of making or receiving more—if He forsakes you, you will fall to the ground at the first step. When your ordinary work or business is not specially engrossing, let your heart be fixed more on God than on it; and if the work be such as to require your undivided attention, then pause from time to time and look to God, even as navigators who make for the haven they would attain, by looking up at the heavens rather than down upon the deeps on which they sail. So doing, God will work with you, in you, and for you, and your work will be blessed.

Unseemly Words and Respect - St Francis de Sales

Introduction to the Devout Life, chapter XXVII

Of Unseemly Words, and the Respect due to Others. 

SAINT JAMES says, “If any man offend not in word, the same is, a perfect man.” Beware most watchfully against ever uttering any unseemly expression; even though you may have no evil intention, those who hear it may receive it with a different meaning. An impure word falling upon a weak mind spreads its infection like a drop of oil on a garment, and sometimes it will take such a hold of the heart, as to fill it with an infinitude of lascivious thoughts and temptations. The body is poisoned through the mouth, even so is the heart through the ear; and the tongue which does the deed is a murderer, even when the venom it has infused is counteracted by some antidote preoccupying the listener’s heart. It was not the speaker’s fault that he did not slay that soul. Nor let any one answer that he meant no harm. Our Lord, Who knoweth the hearts of men, has said, “Out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaketh.” And even if we do mean no harm, the Evil One means a great deal, and he will use those idle words as a sharp weapon against some neighbour’s heart. It is said that those who eat the plant called Angelica always have a sweet, pleasant breath; and those who cherish the angelic virtues of purity and modesty, will always speak simply, courteously, and modestly. As to unclean and light-minded talk, S. Paul says such things should not even be named among us, for, as he elsewhere tells us, “Evil communications corrupt good manners.”

Those impure words which are spoken in disguise, and with an affectation of reserve, are the most harmful of all; for just as the sharper the point of a dart, so much deeper it will pierce the flesh, so the sharper an unholy word, the more it penetrates the heart. And as for those who think to show themselves knowing when they say such things, they do not even understand the first object of mutual intercourse among men, who ought rather to be like a hive of bees gathering to make honey by good and useful conversation, than like a wasps’ nest, feeding on corruption. If any impertinent person addresses you in unseemly language, show that you are displeased by turning away, or by whatever other method your discretion may indicate. 

One of the most evil dispositions possible is that which satirises and turns everything to ridicule. God abhors this vice, and has sometimes punished it in a marked manner. Nothing is so opposed to charity, much more to a devout spirit, as contempt and depreciation of one’s neighbour, and where satire and ridicule exist contempt must be. Therefore contempt is a grievous sin, and our spiritual doctors have well said that ridicule is the greatest sin we can commit in word against our neighbour, inasmuch as when we offend him in any other way, there may still be some respect for him in our heart, but we are sure to despise those whom we ridicule. 

There is a light-hearted talk, full of modest life and gaiety, which the Greeks called Eutrapelia, and which we should call good conversation, by which we may find an innocent and kindly amusement out of the trifling occurrences which human imperfections afford. Only beware of letting this seemly mirth go too far, till it becomes ridicule. Ridicule excites mirth at the expense of one’s neighbour; seemly mirth and playful fun never lose sight of a trustful, kindly courtesy, which can wound no one. When the religious around him would fain have discussed serious matters with S. Louis at meal-times, he used to say, “This is not the time for grave discussion, but for general conversation and cheerful recreation,”—out of consideration for his courtiers. But, my daughter, let our recreation always be so spent, that we may win all eternity through devotion.

Gentleness Towards Others - St Francis de Sales

Introduction to the Devout Life, Chapter VIII.

Gentleness towards others and Remedies against Anger.

THE holy Chrism, used by the Church according to apostolic tradition, is made  of olive oil mingled with balm, which, among other things, are emblematic of two virtues very specially conspicuous in our Dear Lord Himself, and which He has specially commended to us, as though they, above all things, drew us to Him and taught us to imitate Him: “Take My yoke upon you, and learn of Me, for I am meek and lowly in heart.”  Humility makes our lives acceptable to God, meekness makes us acceptable to men. Balm, as I said before, sinking to the bottom of all liquids, is a figure of humility; and oil, floating as it does to the top, is a figure of gentleness and cheerfulness, rising above all things, and excelling all things, the very flower of Love, which, so says S. Bernard, comes to perfection when it is not merely patient, but gentle and cheerful. Give heed, then, daughter, that you keep this mystic chrism of gentleness and humility in your heart, for it is a favourite device of the Enemy to make people content with a fair outside semblance of these graces, not examining their inner hearts, and so fancying themselves to be gentle and humble while they are far otherwise. And this is easily perceived, because, in spite of their ostentatious gentleness and humility, they are stirred up with pride and anger by the smallest wrong or contradiction. There is a popular belief that those who take the antidote commonly called “Saint Paul’s gift,” do not suffer from the viper’s bite, provided, that is, that the remedy be pure; and even so true gentleness and humility will avert the burning and swelling which contradiction is apt to excite in our hearts. If, when stung by slander or ill-nature, we wax proud and swell with anger, it is a proof that our gentleness and humility are unreal, and mere artificial show. When the Patriarch Joseph sent his brethren back from Egypt to his father’s house, he only gave them one counsel, “See that ye fall not out by the way.” And so, my child, say I to you. This miserable life is but the road to a blessed life; do not let us fall out by the way one with another; let us go on with the company of our brethren gently, peacefully, and kindly. Most emphatically I say it, If possible, fall out with no one, and on no pretext whatever suffer your heart to admit anger and passion. S. James says, plainly and unreservedly, that “the wrath of man worketh not the righteousness of God.” Of course it is a duty to resist evil and to repress the faults of those for whom we are responsible, steadily and firmly, but gently and quietly. Nothing so stills the elephant when enraged as the sight of a lamb; nor does anything break the force of a cannon ball so well as wool. Correction given in anger, however tempered by reason, never has so much effect as that which is given altogether without anger; for the reasonable soul being naturally subject to reason, it is a mere tyranny which subjects it to passion, and whereinsoever reason is led by passion it becomes odious, and its just rule obnoxious. When a monarch visits a country peaceably the people are gratified and flattered; but if the king has to take his armies through the land, even on behalf of the public welfare, his visit is sure to be unwelcome and harmful, because, however strictly military discipline may be enforced, there will always be some mischief done to the people. Just so when reason prevails, and administers reproof, correction, and punishment in a calm spirit, although it be strict, every one approves and is content; but if reason be hindered by anger and vexation (which Saint Augustine calls her soldiers) there will be more fear than love, and reason itself will be despised and resisted. The same Saint Augustine, writing to Profuturus, says that it is better to refuse entrance to any even the least semblance of anger, however just; and that because once entered in, it is hard to be got rid of, and what was but a little mote soon waxes into a great beam. For if anger tarries till night, and the sun goes down upon our wrath (a thing expressly forbidden by the Apostle), there is no longer any way of getting rid of it; it feeds upon endless false fancies; for no angry man ever yet but thought his anger just.

Depend upon it, it is better to learn how to live without being angry than to imagine one can moderate and control anger lawfully; and if through weakness and frailty one is overtaken by it, it is far better to put it away forcibly than to parley with it; for give anger ever so little way, and it will become master, like the serpent, who easily works in its body wherever it can once introduce its head. You will ask how to put away anger. My child, when you feel its first movements, collect yourself gently and seriously, not hastily or with impetuosity. Sometimes in a law court the officials who enforce quiet make more noise than those they affect to hush; and so, if you are impetuous in restraining your temper, you will throw your heart into worse confusion than before, and, amid the excitement, it will lose all self-control.

Having thus gently exerted yourself, follow the advice which the aged S. Augustine gave to a younger Bishop, Auxilius. “Do,” said he, “what a man should do.” If you are like the Psalmist, ready to cry out, “Mine eye is consumed for very anger,” go on to say, “Have mercy upon me, O Lord;” so that God may stretch forth His Right Hand and control your wrath. I mean, that when we feel stirred with anger, we ought to call upon God for help, like the Apostles, when they were tossed about with wind and storm, and He is sure to say, “Peace, be still.” But even here I would again warn you, that your very prayers against the angry feelings which urge you should be gentle, calm, and without vehemence. Remember this rule in whatever remedies against anger you may seek. Further, directly you are conscious of an angry act, atone for the fault by some speedy act of meekness towards the person who excited your anger. It is a sovereign cure for untruthfulness to unsay what you have falsely said at once on detecting yourself in falsehood; and so, too, it is a good remedy for anger to make immediate amends by some opposite act of meekness. There is an old saying, that fresh wounds are soonest closed.

Moreover, when there is nothing to stir your wrath, lay up a store of meekness and kindliness, speaking and acting in things great and small as gently as possible. Remember that the Bride of the Canticles is described as not merely dropping honey, and milk also, from her lips, but as having it “under her tongue;” that is to say, in her heart. So we must not only speak gently to our neighbour, but we must be filled, heart and soul, with gentleness; and we must not merely seek the sweetness of aromatic honey in courtesy and suavity with strangers, but also the sweetness of milk among those of our own household and our neighbours; a sweetness terribly lacking to some who are as angels abroad and devils at home!

On Gentleness Towards Ourselves - St Francis de Sales

From Introduction to the Devout Life, Chapter IX:

On Gentleness towards Ourselves 

ONE important direction in which to exercise gentleness, is with respect to ourselves, never growing irritated with one’s self or one’s imperfections; for although it is but reasonable that we should be displeased and grieved at our own faults, yet ought we to guard against a bitter, angry, or peevish feeling about them. Many people fall into the error of being angry because they have been angry, vexed because they have given way to vexation, thus keeping up a chronic state of irritation, which adds to the evil of what is past, and prepares the way for a fresh fall on the first occasion. Moreover, all this anger and irritation against one’s self fosters pride, and springs entirely from self-love, which is disturbed and fretted by its own imperfection. What we want is a quiet, steady, firm displeasure at our own faults. A judge gives sentence more effectually speaking deliberately and calmly than if he be impetuous and passionate (for in the latter case he punishes not so much the actual faults before him, but what they appear to him to be); and so we can chasten ourselves far better by a quiet steadfast repentance, than by eager hasty ways of penitence, which, in fact, are proportioned not by the weight of our faults, but according to our feelings and inclinations. Thus one man who specially aims at purity will be intensely vexed with himself at some very trifling fault against it, while he looks upon some gross slander of which he has been guilty as a mere laughing matter. On the other hand, another will torment himself painfully over some slight exaggeration, while he altogether overlooks some serious offence against purity; and so on with other things. All this arises solely because men do not judge themselves by the light of reason, but under the influence of passion. 

Believe me, my daughter, as a parent’s tender affectionate remonstrance has far more weight with his child than anger and sternness, so, when we judge our own heart guilty, if we treat it gently, rather in a spirit of pity than anger, encouraging it to amendment, its repentance will be much deeper and more lasting than if stirred up in vehemence and wrath. 

For instance:—Let me suppose that I am specially seeking to conquer vanity, and yet that I have fallen conspicuously into that sin;—instead of taking myself to task as abominable and wretched, for breaking so many resolutions, calling myself unfit to lift up my eyes to Heaven, as disloyal, faithless, and the like, I would deal pitifully and quietly with myself. “Poor heart! so soon fallen again into the snare! Well now, rise up again bravely and fall no more. Seek God’s Mercy, hope in Him, ask Him to keep you from falling again, and begin to tread the pathway of humility afresh. We must be more on our guard henceforth.” Such a course will be the surest way to making a steadfast substantial resolution against the special fault, to which should be added any external means suitable, and the advice of one’s director. If any one does not find this gentle dealing sufficient, let him use sterner self-rebuke and admonition, provided only, that whatever indignation he may rouse against himself, he finally works it all up to a tender loving trust in God, treading in the footsteps of that great penitent who cried out to his troubled soul: “Why art thou so vexed, O my soul, and why art thou so disquieted within me? O put thy trust in God, for I will yet thank Him, Which is the help of my countenance, and my God.”

So then, when you have fallen, lift up your heart in quietness, humbling yourself deeply before God by reason of your frailty, without marvelling that you fell;—there is no cause to marvel because weakness is weak, or infirmity infirm. Heartily lament that you should have offended God, and begin anew to cultivate the lacking grace, with a very deep trust in His Mercy, and with a bold, brave heart.

Religion and Devotion - Cardinal Bacci

Religion and Devotion

1. St. Thomas concisely expresses the nature of religion in these words: "The object of religion is to give honour to the One God because He is the first principle of creation and order in the universe." (Summa, II-II, q. 81, a. 3)

We know that everything is the work of God. Everything depends on Him both for its being and for its continued existence. This is so from man down to the minutest insect, from the stars in the sky to the invisible atom. It is true that man and the other creatures also work. In fact, the universe is a gigantic workshop. But God is the one and only cause of man and of the whole of nature. We are only instruments of the divine omnipotence. Now, justice demands that we give everyone his due. Everything belongs to God. Therefore, man ought to humble himself before God in an act of adoration and loving obedience. From the highest mountains to the depths of the valley, from the stars of the firmament to the tiny flowers of the fields, all creation unconsciously sings of the glory of God. In the same way man, a creature of intelligence and free will, should offer himself and all his faculties in an act of complete homage to his Creator and Lord. But there is more to it than that. God is not only our Creator and Lord, He is also our Redeemer. The eternal Word of God became man out of love for us. He gave us His teaching and commandments. He redeemed us with His precious blood and left us the Church as our mother and our infallible teacher of truth. So, if religion is to be complete, it will oblige us to be obedient to whatever God has revealed and to whatever the Church which He founded commands and teaches us.

2. Religion, however, should not be a cold, mechanical practice of obedience to the commandments of God and the precepts of the Church. Deep spiritual devotion and supernatural charity are necessary as well as religion. In other words, religion should not be merely external, but should spring from the mind and heart; this is devotion, which is the spirit of religion. "Devotion," writes Aquinas, "seems to be the determination to give one's self readily to the service of God." (Summa, II-II, q. 82, a.2, ad 1) But this determination should be loving and effective because, as St. Thomas also observes, "charity generates devotion." (Summa, II-II, q. 82, a. 2, ad. 2)

St. Francis de Sales analysed and expanded these ideas. "True and living devotion," he writes, "presupposes the love of God; indeed, it really is a true love of God... but a love... which has reached that height of perfection at which it not only causes us to act, but to act zealously, frequently and promptly…" (Filotea, Bk. I, C. 1) He continues: "Since devotion consists in an unique degree of charity, it not only makes us prompt, active and zealous in the observance of all the divine commands, but incites us furthermore to perform readily and lovingly as many good works as we can... even if they are only recommended or suggested." (Ibid.) From this solid and sincere devotion flows that taste for divine things, that inner gentleness and peace of spirit which the Saints enjoyed even in the midst of sorrow and disillusionment.

3. We must not be satisfied simply to carry out the acts of religion, however exactly. We must fulfil them with love. It is the spontaneous homage of the mind and heart that God wants most of all. The body must also pay its tribute of subjection to its creator, but if the mind and heart are cold and distracted, this tribute is worthless. There is no religion without devotion. “This people honours me with their lips, but their heart is far from me.” (Mt. 15:8; Mark 7:6) Consider this complaint of Our Lord. Let us earnestly examine our conduct. Religion is useless if it is not fed by the active fire of charity. Anyone who is content to go to Mass on feast-days and stand in the church silently and indifferently, like a candlestick without a candle, is not a true and sincere Christian. Religion must be deeply felt. It must be penetrated by devotion and charity. Only then will it inspire real Christian activity.

Honey vs vinegar - St Francis de Sales

Pinched from the Carmel Books blog:

Francis was born of noble and pious parents, near Annecy, 1566, and studied with brilliant success at Paris and Padua. On his return from Italy he gave up the grand career which his father had marked out for him in the service of the State, and became a priest.

When the Duke of Savoy had resolved to restore the Church in the Chablais, Francis offered himself for the work and set out on foot with his Bible and breviary and one companion, his cousin Louis of Sales.

It was a work of toil, privation and danger. Every door and every heart was closed against him. He was rejected with insult and threatened with death. But nothing could daunt or resist him, and ere long the Church burst forth into a second spring.

It is stated that he converted 72,000 Calvinists. he was then compelled by the pope to become Coadjutor Bishop of Geneva, and succeeded to the See in 1602.

At times the exceeding gentleness with which he received heretics and sinners almost scandalised his friends, and one of them said to him, "Francis of Sales will go to Paradise, of course; but I'm not so sure of the Bishop of Geneva: I am almost afraid his gentleness will play him a shrewd turn".

"Ah," said the saint, "I would rather account to God for too great gentleness than for too great severity. Is not God all love? God the Father is the Father of Mercy; God the Son is a Lamb; God the Holy Ghost is a Dove - that is gentleness itself. And are you wiser than God?"

In union with St. Jane Frances of Chantal he founded at Annecy the Order of the Visitation, which soon spread over Europe. Though poor, he refused provisions and dignities, and even the great See of Paris. he died at Avignon, 1622.

Reflection - "You will catch more flies," St. Francis used to say, "with a spoonful of honey than with a hundred barrels of vinegar. Were there anything better or fairer on Earth than gentleness, Jesus Christ would have taught it us; and yet He has given us only two lessons to learn of Him - meekness and humility of heart".