Introduction to the Devout Life, Chapter VIII.
Gentleness towards others and Remedies against Anger.
THE holy Chrism, used by the Church according to apostolic tradition, is made of olive oil mingled with balm, which, among other things, are emblematic of two virtues very specially conspicuous in our
Dear Lord Himself, and which He has specially commended to us, as though they, above all things, drew us to Him and taught
us to imitate Him: “Take My yoke upon you, and learn of Me, for I am meek and lowly in heart.”
Humility makes our lives acceptable to God, meekness makes us
acceptable to men. Balm, as I said before, sinking to the bottom
of all liquids, is a figure of humility; and oil, floating as it
does to the top, is a figure of gentleness and cheerfulness,
rising above all things, and excelling all things, the very flower
of Love, which, so says S. Bernard, comes to perfection
when it is not merely patient, but gentle and cheerful. Give heed,
then, daughter, that you keep this mystic
chrism of gentleness and humility in your heart, for it is a
favourite device of the Enemy to make people content with a fair
outside semblance of these graces, not examining their inner
hearts, and so fancying themselves to be gentle and humble while
they are far otherwise. And this is easily perceived, because, in
spite of their ostentatious gentleness and humility, they
are stirred up with pride and anger by the smallest wrong or
contradiction. There is a popular belief that
those who take the antidote commonly called “Saint Paul’s gift,” do not suffer from the viper’s bite, provided, that is, that the
remedy be pure; and even so true gentleness and humility
will avert the burning and swelling which contradiction is apt to
excite in our hearts. If, when stung by slander or ill-nature,
we wax proud and swell with anger, it is a proof that our
gentleness and humility are unreal, and mere artificial show. When
the Patriarch Joseph sent his brethren back from Egypt to his
father’s house, he only gave them one counsel, “See
that ye fall not out by the way.”
And so, my child, say I to you. This miserable life is but the
road to a blessed life; do not let us fall out by the way one
with another; let us go on with the company of our brethren
gently, peacefully, and kindly. Most emphatically I say it, If
possible, fall out with no one, and on no pretext whatever suffer
your heart to admit anger and passion. S. James says, plainly
and unreservedly, that “the wrath of man worketh not the
righteousness of God.”
Of course it is a duty to resist evil and to repress the faults of those for whom we are
responsible, steadily and firmly, but gently and quietly. Nothing so
stills the elephant when enraged as the sight of a lamb;
nor does anything break the force of a cannon ball so well as
wool. Correction given in anger, however tempered by reason,
never has so much effect as that which is given altogether without
anger; for the reasonable soul being naturally subject
to reason, it
is a mere tyranny which subjects it to passion, and whereinsoever
reason is led by passion it becomes odious, and its just
rule obnoxious. When a monarch visits a country peaceably the
people are gratified and flattered; but if the king has to take
his armies through the land, even on behalf of the public welfare,
his visit is sure to be unwelcome and harmful, because,
however strictly military discipline may be enforced, there will
always be some mischief done to the people. Just so when
reason prevails, and administers reproof, correction, and
punishment in a calm spirit, although it be strict, every one approves
and is content; but if reason be hindered by anger and vexation
(which Saint Augustine calls her soldiers) there will be more
fear than love, and reason itself will be despised and resisted.
The same Saint Augustine, writing to Profuturus, says that
it is better to refuse entrance to any even the least semblance of
anger, however just; and that because once entered in, it is hard to be got rid of, and what was but a little mote soon waxes into a great beam. For if anger tarries
till night, and the sun goes down upon our wrath (a thing expressly forbidden by the Apostle), there is no longer any way of getting rid of it; it feeds upon
endless false fancies; for no angry man ever yet but thought
his anger just.
Depend upon it, it is better to learn
how to live without being angry than to imagine one can moderate and
control anger lawfully;
and if through weakness and frailty one is overtaken by it, it is
far better to put it away forcibly than to parley with it;
for give anger ever so little way, and it will become master, like
the serpent, who easily works in its body wherever it can
once introduce its head. You will ask how to put away anger. My
child, when you feel its first
movements, collect yourself gently and seriously, not hastily or
with impetuosity. Sometimes in a law court the officials
who enforce quiet make more noise than those they affect to hush;
and so, if you are impetuous in restraining your temper,
you will throw your heart into worse confusion than before, and,
amid the excitement, it will lose all self-control.
Having thus gently exerted yourself, follow the advice which the aged S. Augustine gave to a younger Bishop, Auxilius. “Do,” said he, “what a man should do.” If you are like the Psalmist, ready to cry out, “Mine
eye is consumed for very anger,”
go on to say, “Have mercy upon me, O Lord;” so that God may
stretch forth His Right Hand and control your wrath. I mean, that
when we feel stirred with anger, we ought to call upon God for
help, like the Apostles, when they were tossed about with wind
and storm, and He is sure to say, “Peace, be still.” But even here
I would again warn you, that your very prayers against
the angry feelings which urge you should be gentle, calm, and
without vehemence. Remember this rule in whatever
remedies against anger you may seek. Further, directly you are
conscious of an angry act, atone for the fault by some speedy
act of meekness towards the person who excited your anger. It is a
sovereign cure for untruthfulness to unsay what you have
falsely said at once on detecting yourself in falsehood; and so,
too, it is a good remedy for anger to make immediate amends
by some opposite act of meekness. There is an old saying, that
fresh wounds are soonest closed.
Moreover, when there is nothing to stir your wrath, lay up a store of meekness and kindliness, speaking and acting in things great and small as gently as possible. Remember
that the Bride of the Canticles is described as not merely dropping honey, and milk also, from her lips, but as having it
“under her tongue;”
that is to say, in her heart. So we must not only speak gently to
our neighbour, but we must be filled, heart and soul, with
gentleness; and we must not merely seek the sweetness of aromatic
honey in courtesy and suavity with strangers, but also the
sweetness of milk among those of our own household and our
neighbours; a sweetness terribly lacking to some who are as angels
abroad and devils at home!
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