Needless contradiction - St Francis de Sales

"It was a saying of S. Louis, that one should contradict nobody, unless there was sin or harm in consenting; and that in order to avoid contention and dispute. At any rate, when it is necessary to contradict anybody, or to assert one’s own opinion, it should be done gently and considerately, without irritation or vehemence. Indeed, we gain nothing by sharpness or petulance."

Uncharitableness - Cardinal Bacci

Uncharitableness

1. It is easy, unfortunately, to abuse the gift of speech which God has given us. “If anyone does not offend in word,” says St. James, “he is a perfect man.” (James 3:2) "As often as I have been amongst men," says the Imitation of Christ, "I have returned less a man." (Bk. I, c. 20:2) Why is this so? It is because it is easy when we are in the company of men to enter into useless and even harmful discussions. As a result we lose the purity of intention which we ought to observe in all our thoughts, words and actions. We lose the spirit of recollection which keeps us in contact with God, and when we return home we are less perfect Christians because we are dissipated in mind and in heart.

It is true that if we were really holy and were accustomed to speak with people holier than ourselves, our conversations would be spiritually beneficial to us. We should go away more perfect men and closer to God than we were before. But what kind of conversations do we normally have with others? What kind of relations have we with our friends, with our superiors and inferiors, and with everyone whom we meet? Are our conversations inspired by a love for truth and charity and by a desire for the spiritual welfare of ourselves and of our neighbour?

Let us examine ourselves in this important matter and resolve that our conversations will be a means of sanctification for ourselves and others.

2. The tendency to complain about others is a most insidious cancer which can corrode all that is good in our conversation, making it harmful and even gravely sinful. Grumbling is always more or less sinful according to the circumstances. It may be a sin against charity, which demands that we love our neighbour as ourselves and help him as much as possible by word and by deed. It may be a sin of scandal, because the person to whom we are complaining may be provoked to throw stones in his turn at the subject of our detraction. It may be a sin of theft because it takes away the reputation of the person whom we are criticising. This could carry with it the obligation to make restitution by withdrawing what we have said if it is false or doubtful or by speaking charitably of the person whom we have wronged in order to restore his good name. Uncharitableness in speech is also a sin of injustice when it involves calumny, in which case there is an obligation to repair the damage done in the best way possible.

Since criticism of others can be such an evil thing, we should take care not to form the habit of employing it as a means of making our conversations more lively and acceptable. The life of a Christian should be governed by charity, and grumbling about others is always an offence against charity.

3. It is no excuse to claim that we only speak of matters which are true and known to all. They may be true, but God alone can judge the human conscience. They may be known to all, but by our maliciousness we are spreading evil about our neighbour, whereas we ought to try and spread only what is good. Besides being opposed to Christian charity, unkind conversation ruins whatever opportunities we may have of practising the apostolate, in which everyone is obliged to play his part. If we are apostolic, we promote our neighbour's spiritual welfare, whereas uncharitable criticism spreads evil about him and gives bad example to others.

The Gift of Speech - Cardinal Bacci

The Gift of Speech

1. One of God's greatest gifts, the spoken word, is the reflection of our thought and the expression of our will. In God the Word is something infinitely greater, for it is the substantial image of God, the Eternal Word of the Father through Whom He knows and therefore loves Himself. It is the Second Person of the Blessed Trinity. Because we have been created in the likeness of God, our Creator has endowed us also with a limited power to express our thoughts and sentiments.

It is hard to imagine how unhappy we should be if we could not express ourselves and were unable to communicate our ideas and feelings to others. We should feel as isolated as rocks separated from one another by vast expanses of sea, for we could neither give anything of ourselves to other men nor receive anything in return. We could not even praise God and tell Him how we love Him. God could have created us without the gift of speech. Since He has given it to us, we should show our gratitude by using it for His glory, for our welfare, and for the salvation of our neighbour.

2. Above all, the gift of speech is intended to be used in prayer. The tongue should express externally the interior language of the mind and heart, which should be principally concerned with the adoration of our Creator. Since we have received everything which we have from God, all our gifts should be used in His service. Speech was given to us not only to enable us to speak with men, but more particularly to enable us to speak with God. Let us sanctify this gift by means of prayer. Let us take care, however, that our prayers do not remain meaningless and superficial while our minds are absorbed with other matters.

Everything in us should pray. The intellect should bow in adoration of God's majesty; the will should conform itself entirely to His law; the heart should find its true and only happiness in God; and the tongue should praise Him, implore His favour and forgiveness, and offer our whole being to Him from Whom we have received everything. This should be the primary function of speech. If this gift is employed in this way, it will gain for us many other graces and favours from God.

3. Speech was never intended to be used in lying and in deceiving our neighbour, nor in giving scandal by unkind or blasphemous conversation. It was given to us so that we might help others by conversation which would reflect our own interior goodness and so lead them towards sanctity. It was intended to express sympathy and understanding, to give good advice, and to encourage others.

The tongue can do a great deal of good or a great deal of damage.

Let us examine our consciences now. If we have failed to employ the gift of speech for our own welfare and that of our neighbour, let us begin to correct this neglect. Let us resolve to use this gift in the service of God and in the work of the Christian Apostolate.