The Heart of Judas
1. The human heart is a mystery, the depths of which it is difficult to
sound. We do not even understand ourselves. The heart of man can soar
to the loftiest heights of goodness or descend to unimaginable depths of
evil. Examples of the sublime heights to which men can rise are
provided by the lives of the Saints, who loved God so much that they
were on fire with charity and wished to
abide forever in Him. “It is now no longer I that live,” said St. Paul,
“but Christ lives in me.” (1 Gal. 2:20)
The heart of Judas is a
particularly deep mystery. We read in the Gospel that Jesus called
together His disciples in the supper room to celebrate His last Pasch
with them. Among them was Judas. Jesus loved men so much that He wished
to remain with them really and truly for all time, even after His
approaching death. “Having love his own, who were in the world, he loved
them to the end.” (John 13:1) When the meal was over, Jesus took bread
and, lifting up His eyes to Heaven, He said: “Take and eat; this is my
body.” Then He took the chalice, blessed it, and turning towards the
Apostles said these words: “All of you drink of this; for this is my
blood of the new covenant, which is being shed for many.” Then He added:
“Do this in remembrance of me.” In this way Jesus instituted the
Blessed Eucharist, which St. Thomas describes as Christ’s greatest
miracle. (De fest Corp. Christi, Bk. V) Furthermore, He raised His
disciples, including Judas, to the sublime dignity of the priesthood,
and bestowed on them the power to do what He had just done. One might
say that the infinite generosity of Jesus Christ was exhausted at that
moment. He could not give anything more because at that moment he had
given us Himself.
It was in this solemn moment, in which He
received Jesus into his soul and was at the same time raised to the
dignity of the priesthood, that Judas finally decided to carry out his
plan to sell his Master for thirty pieces of silver and to hand Him over
to those who wished to kill him. How sin can degrade a human being!
2. How did Judas fall to such a level? Certainly it did not happen in
an instant. His dominant passion was probably small in the beginning
but, when it was not repressed in time, grew daily and finally came to
exercise absolute control over his heart. It was avarice, that vilest
and most material of passions, which caused him to fall.
Judas
had been appointed bursar and administrator of the small offering which
the faithful made to the Apostles. He became attached to this money and
may have begun to steal small sums which grew bigger with time, until
greed prompted him to sell Jesus for thirty miserable pieces of silver.
He carried out his plan at the very moment when Jesus bestowed on him
the highest dignity.
We should meditate on this terrible
tragedy while there is still time for us to save ourselves from sinking
to the same level of degradation. This could easily happen if we neglect
to resist temptation at once and to pray fervently for Divine help the
moment we are tempted.
3. Even after his betrayal, Judas still
had time to make amends. It would have sufficed if he had gone to Jesus
and asked Him for forgiveness. He would certainly have received the kiss
of peace. He was overcome by despair, however, and decided that his sin
was too great to be forgiven. So, throwing away his money, the reward
of his betrayal, he took a rope and “hanged himself with a halter.”
(Matt. 27:5) If we should ever have the misfortune to fall into sin, we
should remember that the mercy of God is infinite. It is enough to go to
Him and to ask for pardon and for the grace not to offend Him any more
under any circumstances. We should then resolve to love Him with all the
power of our poor hearts, to atone for our sins, and to serve Him
faithfully for the rest of our lives.
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